Quiet Suffering
by Ryuuen Mills
Summary: This is the sequel to 'Silent Pain' and it takes place just a little after Trunks' thoughts. Goten's thoughts on his own dating and on Trunks. Shounen ai.


Quiet Suffering  
By: Cryptina Maxwell  
  
Fandom: DBZ  
Romance/alternate universe  
No lemon or lime  
Shounen ai  
Pairing: Goten/Trunks, sort of...o.o;  
Spoilers: None  
Rating: PG-13  
Archive: If you want, but ask me first, please.  
Feedback: Yes, please!  
Story blurb: This is the sequel to 'Silent Pain'. This is Goten's thoughts on his own dating and about how he feels about Trunks.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Ball Z or any of its characters.  
  
Warnings: Shounen ai thoughts, alternate universe, possible OOCness, Goten's POV  
  
I sigh as I dig around in my closet. It's totally silent here in my room, even though I'm not alone. Trunks is there, sitting on my bed, waiting for me to pull some article of clothing out of my closet and ask him if I should even bother trying it on to see if it would be good to wear on my date.  
  
I can hear him breathing, my ears are that good. I know I shouldn't be listening to it so close, sometimes listening to him breathe like that it sounds like heavy breathing, and it makes me think VERY dirty thoughts about Trunks. Needless to say, I've had to go into the bathroom a few times and hope he can't hear me to take care of a not-so-little "problem".  
  
But, I don't have that problem right now. Right now, I'm just wishing that I didn't have to go on this stupid date. I guess I could break the date if I really wanted to, but I don't want to lie to the girl, that isn't too fair to her. Not that I usually care what's fair, I usually break up with them after one date. And, no I don't fuck them all the first date and then say "to Hell with them". I don't do things like that, contrary to what some of them SAY.  
  
Yes, I do sort of have a bad reputation with women. Thank Kami mom hasn't gotten wind of THAT reputation. She wouldn't think that the girls were just mad because I broke up with them after one date. I wonder if they realize they're destroying their own reputations, as well. But, you know, it's not fair of me to say ALL the girls I go out with do that. Just some of them do. They're usually the more popular girls, but they always manage to make themselves seem victimized.  
  
I don't think Trunks believes any of that stuff, at least he never says anything about it, and he doesn't act differently around me. I hope he doesn't, 'cause it's not true.  
  
So, why do I go out on all of these dates when I'm obviously not REALLY interested in these girls? To keep up appearances, mostly. I suppose that if I wanted to, I could let everybody know that I'm not THAT into girls. Sure, they're good looking, some of them more so than others, but I already have my eye on somebody. Trunks.  
  
Yeah, I'm aware of the difference in gender between Trunks and the people I've dated. I know we're both the same gender, nobody has to get all bug-eyed and ask me if I'm aware of Trunks' gender. I just don't care. I know what I feel.  
  
Another fact, is that my mother would probably have serious problems if she found out I was interested in another guy. But, you know, as days go by and the only thing that happens is my feelings get stronger for Trunks, I start to care less and less about what my mom would think, what other people would think, what Trunks' parents and sister would think. I just want to tell him how I feel.  
  
But, I don't want to tell him if he doesn't feel the same. I mean, why mess up the GREAT friendship we already have, just so that I can tell him I love him? Sure, there's always a chance he could feel the same about me, but what if he doesn't? Would it make him nervous around me? Should I even risk that when I can be almost happy JUST being his friend?  
  
Sure, people can say "well you should be happy that he's your friend if nothing else", but how can you be happy watching your best friend and thinking "Kami, I wanna touch him..." or "Kami, I wanna kiss him..."? Especially if he's hurting. Sometimes, I see him upset, even when he's hiding, and I just think about how much I wanna hug him and kiss him and tell him everything will be okay and that he could just let it out, 'cause I'm not gonna make fun of him and nobody has to know but me and him. But, I can't do those things.  
  
I know, that sort of thing sounds awfully sappy, but sometimes I just want to do those things for Trunks. I can tell when he's upset, even when nobody else can. And, I don't like for him to be upset. I can't even ASK him what's got him so upset! He doesn't seem so upset when he's not around me, so maybe it's my fault he's upset. I hope not, but it's possible.  
  
Yes, I DO watch him when I don't think he knows I'm around. Am I obsessed with him? I don't think so, but maybe. I just wish I could act the way I want to act around him, say the things I want to say. No matter how sappy it might sound to other people.  
  
But, the truth is, at the moment, I'm still afraid of what other people are going to think, especially my family and Trunks'. So, right now, I can't bring myself to do anything but give lame excuses as to why I need him around me so much. Help with homework, advice, help with getting ready for a date.  
  
Right now, I'm still pretty confused and my thoughts are still kinda messed up about all of this, but the one thing that I know isn't messed up is the way I feel. Yes, I'm aware I'm sort of repeating myself with this, but I KNOW what I feel and I love Trunks. One of these days, I SWEAR I'm going to get up the nerve to tell him. And, I refuse to wait until one of us is about to say "I do"!  
  
Right now, it sounds like all talk, or rather all thought, because I'm not doing anything. We're both alone, I still have a lot of time before my date, and I could very easily just go over to him and talk to him about all of this. But, like I said before, I'm not comfortable with that right now, I'm still a little afraid of that.  
  
But, at the same time, I know that someday I will. Someday soon. I just don't know how soon.  
  
"Hey, Trunks, how about this?" I ask, as I pull out yet another outfit for him to look at and tell me it won't work, coming out of the closet and turning around, running right into him, to my surprise.  
  
We topple to the ground together, the outfit discarded on the floor somewhere not too far from us, myself half on top of Trunks. I can see him blushing and I think I blush a little bit too. Or at least it feels like my face started to get a little hot.  
  
You know...maybe that "someday soon" won't be too far away...We're so close...should I kiss him or not?  
  
Before I have a real chance to decide whether or not I should, I feel his lips touch mine, and one of his hands gently moving into my hair as I kiss him back.  
  
You know, Trunks seems a bit shy right now...maybe I can show him he doesn't need to be so shy around me?  
  
I grin a bit into the kiss and let my hand start to wander to places it probably shouldn't touch, as I feel his other hand doing the same and his tongue sliding into my mouth.  
  
  
  
  
The End 


End file.
